


Quackity's Personal Assistant

by heartemoji



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Shapeshifter!Quackity, Winged!Quackity, Wingfic, reject rpf accept that these are characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28022433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartemoji/pseuds/heartemoji
Summary: Techno cooks and then takes care of Quackity's wings.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Quackity & Technoblade
Comments: 22
Kudos: 699





	Quackity's Personal Assistant

**Author's Note:**

> Quackity and Techno friendship is pog, especially with how much Quackity hates Techno in canon now lol

Quackity woke up from a midday nap to the smell of food permeating through Pogtopia's ravine. He quickly threw some clothes on and made his way to Pogtopia's admittedly pitiful kitchen. To his horror, as soon as he walked in, he spotted Technoblade's massive, capeless form stirring an entire cauldron worth of liquid.

"Uh- watcha got there, big guy?" Quackity asked nervously.

"The blood of the innocent." Techno deadpanned in response

"Oh." Quackity squeaked.

The piglike snort that came from Techno's snout did nothing to assure Quackity that there wasn't actually orphan blood in the cauldron.

"It's stew."

“Yeah, uh-huh.” Quackity snuck behind Techno and peered over his shoulder.

Inside the cauldron appeared to be… rabbit stew that had been made with two types of mushrooms and dandelions.

“Oh- this is… food... I didn’t know you could make food.”

Techno turned and shot him a very judgemental look that translated easily from his inhuman features. “This is my special recipe.”

“I… noticed- are those yellow things flowers?” Quackity took a sniff over the stew.

“Does no one in this insurgency know what suspicious stew is!?”

“Sounds like something someone shouldn’t eat- to be honest.”

“Here.” Techno, with a little too much force, grabbed a bowl off the counter and poured some of the stew into it. “Eat some.”

Quackity hastily accepted the bowl that was thrusted towards him and barely kept the stew from pouring over the edge. He set it down on the communal kitchen table after a moment of fumbling around.

“This batch should last Pogtopia a week.” Techno commented after getting his own bowl.

“Do you… do this often?” Quackity eyed Techno and his bowl of stew.

“No, just whenever Tommy complains too much about everyone in the ravine is starving because I’m the only person that knows how to cook around here. I witnessed Tommy eating raw chicken a couple days ago and I would have strangled him if he hadn’t immediately gotten sick.”

Quackity snorted. “Yeah, I’ve been subsisting entirely off of the potato farm since I got here.”

“Wilbur and Tommy made me make it- and I’m pretty sure all of you guys would have starved to death if I weren’t here.” Following that Techno raised the bowl to his mouth and downed it in one go- rabbit, potatoes, and all. “It’s not poisoned, Quackity.”

“That’s- that’s not what I was worried about- of course you wouldn’t poison all of us.” Quackity stammered.

“It tastes good, too- I’ve been making it long enough to perfect my recipe- I had to feed my younger brothers a lot- still do.”

Worries slightly abated Quackity lifted his bowl and took a sip only to be hit by how hot the soup was. In shock he practically threw the bowl back onto the table- spilling quite a lot of it onto himself.

Techno laughed as he watched Quackity swear at him and the stew. “Yeah, it’s a bit hot.”

“Damn you and your resistance to heat.”

Quackity looked down at his ruined clothes and to Techno’s displeasure began removing his hoodie and the shirt beneath.

“Man, you ruined my clothes.”

“I ruined them? You did that to yourself- why didn’t you get a spoon?”

“I thought you didn’t have any!” Quackity exclaimed as he ripped his shirt off.

“Have you literally never been in the kitchen before?”

“I’m new- alright!” Quackity threw his balled up clothing on to the table and got up to get a spoon.

He angrily pulled one from a nearby barrel and stomped back to his seat before carefully trying the stew again.

“This is actually pretty good.” Quackity looked up in shock to see Techno staring intensely at him. “Hello?”

“I didn’t know that you have wings.” Techno said.

Quackity shrugged. “They’re pretty small so I keep them beneath my clothes all the time.”

Slightly self-consciously Quackity lifted his wings up so Techno could see them.

“I can tell- they’re in terrible shape.” He said bluntly.

“Hey!” Quackity snapped his wings closed. “That’s kinda rude to say about a man’s wings.”

“Phil has wings, so I can tell that they’re neglected.” Techno got up and threw his empty bowl into the sink.

Quackity quickly shoved the rest of the cooled soup into his mouth and pointedly ignored Techno’s gaze while he sat back down. The stew seemed impossibly filling and Quackity wondered for a moment if he'd be able to finish his serving

“I can help you groom them so you don’t lose feathers.”

“What?”

“I assume you don’t have anyone to help you after you defected so I can help.” Techno added after a pause. “And I’m not very busy at the moment.”

“Like right now?”

“Are you doing something right now?”

“No.” Quackity replied hesitantly.

“Then I can help right now.”

Quackity reached behind him and rubbed a feather between his fingers. “Okay…”

“I don’t have a room in the ravine- do you?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got a room, we can go there.”

Techno stood up, took Quackity’s empty bowl, and threw it into the sink from halfway across the room.

He turned back to Quackity with a self-assured smile on his face. “After you.”

"Okay, show-off." Quackity scooped his clothes into his arms and led Techno into his room.

Techno glanced around it curiously. "Do you have feather oil?"

Quackity turned and winked. “I’ve got everything you need to pamper me.”

“Okay don’t say that like that, I’m grooming your wings so you don’t get depressed and choke in the middle of the battlefield.”

“Whatever will let you sleep at night, Techno.” Quackity tossed his clothes onto his bed and re-arranged the chairs so they could sit across from each other. “Let’s get this show on the road- I’ve been needing this since Schlatt called my ass flat.”

Techno rolled his eyes, sat into one of the chairs and watched Quackity search his room for feather oil.

“Okay- okay- okay, you know what this stuff is?”

“Yup.” Techno deftly caught the two bottles tossed his way.

He inspected them while Quackity sat down on the opposite chair and leaned over its back, noting their quality and price.

“Nothing but the best for you, huh?”

“Of course.” Quackity spread his wings out, giving Techno easy access to them.

The piglin hummed and poured a bit of the oil into his hand.

Quackity sighed at the feeling of Techno running his hands through the center of his wing and spreading the oil between his feathers. Slowly and carefully he rubbed the oil into each of Quackity’s feathers and straightened them. Quackity closed his eyes and lost himself in the feeling of Techno carding through his wing.

“Quackity.”

Quackity jumped at the sound of Techno’s voice. “What- are you done already- that was fast.”

“We’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes.”

“Uh… I zoned out.”

Techno hummed again. “I was just going to tell you that I finished your right wing.”

Quackity flexed his wing arm and bent it as far forward as he could to inspect it. “Wow… Techno, you actually did a really good job.”

“I helped Phil a lot- and his wings are at least four times larger than yours- as a result I’ve had a lot of practice.”

“Thank god.” Quackity let his wing fold back into its resting positon. “You do even better than Schlatt.”

“I try.” Techno replied simply before moving to Quackity’s left wing.

“You’re a jack of all trades kinda guy, huh, fighter, farmer, cook, my personal assistant…”

Techno started spreading oil over Quackity’s left wing. “I’m a master of all trades- not including that last thing.”

“Aw, come on, I can’t pay you money but surely spending time with me is payment enough for your labor.”

Techno smiled behind Quackity’s back. “I’m pretty sure that would be punishment, actually. I would never commit crimes if the consequence was being near you 24/7.”

“Hey- I am a delight to be around!.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yeah, when I get more comfortable here everyone’s going to love me, I’m going to be VP of L’Manburg when we get it back.”

“Do you even have any political background?”

“I’m a lawyer?”

Techno paused. “Well, you’re more qualified than anyone else here.”

“Exactly, exactly, now I can tell you’re a smart guy, Techno, you could be my bodyguard to protect me from my enemies.”

“Will I get paid?”

“With good will?”

“Do you have any diamonds or valuables at all?”

“... No.”

“This revolution hinges on me doesn’t it.”

Quackity’s form shimmered, shocking Techno into letting go of his wing as he watched Quackity’s body blip in and out of existence until Techno was looking at a winged version of himself.

“Oh look at me.” Quackity said in a very poor impersonation of Techno’s voice. “I’m Techno and I’m so good at pvp I’m a one man army.”

“Keep stroking my ego, please, I beg of you.” Sarcasm laced Techno’s monotone voice. “Weren’t you scared to death of me like last week?”

“I got over it through like, exposure therapy, I’m not scared anymore.” Quackity bent his wing back and lightly hit Techno’s shoulder. “Besides, what you’re doing to my wings would make any fear worth it.”

Techno reached towards the outstretched wing and lightly tugged a feather. “Turn back into yourself or I might accidentally get a feather to keep for myself.”

Quackity paled. “No- no thanks, I’ll go back.”

He shimmered for a second before he popped back into being himself. Immediately Techno went back to grooming his feathers instead of ripping them out.

They fell back into a comfortable silence while Techno finished Quackity’s left wing.

“Done.” Techno finally said.

Quackity shot off the chair the instant Techno finished. “Any loose feathers?”

“Nope.” He replied while Quackity inspected his wings.

“Thanks Techno, I owe you one.”

“It’s… no problem.” Techno shrugged. “Cleaning your wings is kind of like farming, it’s easy to zone out in the repetitiveness and just… be calm.”

Quackity nodded sympathetically. “I get it, bud.”

“Anyway, I’m going back to my base to stock up on more stuff because Pogtopia is less prepared for this war than I thought.”

“Bye, Techno!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
